What the If?
"Hey, idiots, we live in a world where nothing is predictable, so keep a bunch of extra crap in your closet. You'll appreciate it when the twisters come in or the Taliban crashes a chopper into your mixed-use condominium complex."
What you are about to read may so shock and appall you that your eyes will flutter into the back of your skull and you will collapse in a heap on the floor, like that time you accidentally saw your grandmother ... via Westword